Cleaning Up and Moving On!

Ever have one of those mornings when after you take your routine shower and clean yourself up and are ready to head out the door for work, you are suddenly struck with the need to take a crap. So you journey to the washroom, excrete any excrements that seem to have been clogging your lower intestines and then give your ass a sturdy and thorough wipe. But on the streetcar to work your asshole is feeling itchy and you know you did not wipe as well as you hoped. The ride to work seems longer than usual as you anticipate scurrying off to the washroom when you get there just to remove any irritating remnents of fecal matter. And once you do give that final stamp of approval; that good, clean wipe, you know you can finally start the day feeling fresh and with confidence.

Ladies and gentlemen, today is the day Britney Spears finally wiped that clinging piece of shit from her asshole.

Just over two years, Kevin Federline managed to stay in the limelight longer than most would expect from a backup dancer (J-Lo excluded). During this time, he managed to squeeze 2 children (one-year-old Sean Preston and two-month-old Jayden James), a record deal, a reality show and any remaining dignity from the pop princess. Britney finally filed for divorce citing "irreconcilable differences." Translation: he's a fucking douchebag!

Now Britney has petitioned for full custody of their children granting Federline reasonable visitation rights and is waiving any spousal support. From him?... No kidding.

Meanwhile, while all this was coming to light (though who among us didn't smell this coming from a mile away like the cheeseburger stains on Federline's pant that a formerly insane Britney Spears left - ahhh, 2004 and 2005, where did you go?), King PopoZao was in Toronto co-hosting M.O.D and proving he is not Mr. Britney Spears. News Flash: wish granted.

Spears started her comeback with a "surprise" appearance on The Late Show with David Letterman looking slim, healthy and without that 170 lbs. tumour that's been plaguing her career for the past 2 years.

So Britney will be doing as her ex so eloquently put:

"I'm bringing sexy back."

Sleep with one eye open

Say your prayers little one
Don't forget, my son
To include everyone

Tuck you in, warm within
Keep you free from sin
Till the sandman he comes

Sleep with one eye open
Gripping your pillow tight

Exit light
Enter night
Take my hand
Off to never never land

Something's wrong, shut the light
Heavy thoughts tonight
And they aren't of snow white

Dreams of war, dreams of liars
Dreams of dragons fire
And of things that will bite

Sleep with one eye open
Gripping your pillow tight

Exit light
Enter night
Take my hand
Off to never never land

Now I lay me down to sleep
Pray the lord my soul to keep
If I die before I wake
Pray the lord my soul to take

Hush little baby, dont say a word
And never mind that noise you heard
Its just the beast under your bed,
In your closet, in your head

Exit light
Enter night
Grain of sand

Exit light
Enter night
Take my hand
We're off to never never land

-- "Enter Sandman" by Metallica
This one goes out to Big Brother Eric who, in his pre-pastor mode, was a huge Metallica fan and let's face it... still is :)

The BOO-YAH Summer Movie Review

Allow me to explain my method of madness... BOO means I didn't like it and YAH means I did. There may be some grey area in which it gets a BOO.

The Da Vinci Code (May 19) - BOO
Hmmm... ya.

Over the Hedge (May 19) - YAH
Very cute.

X-Men 3: The Last Stand (May 26) - BOO
Shudder! By far the worst film I saw in theaters this summer!
[puke]
As a sidebar, read Joss Whedon's The Astonishing X-Men - that is what this movie should've been.

Cars (June 9) - BOO
The problem (well, one of the many problems) with this one is it focused on premise over story ie: a world of talking cars! Imagine the toyline on this one! And then when they tried to squeeze in a story (one appealing to adults) it got too complicated and sentimental. If your subject matter is going to be talking cars, then make your target audience ONLY CHILDREN - the parents will watch because their kids are watching (God willing). You don't have to overly win them over. You already got their money.

The Inconvenient Truth (June 16) - YAH
What I liked about this one was that it really was like being in a lecture hall and I am learning about global warming and the harms our Earth has gone under. What gives it that personal touch from Al Gore were those brief interludes of his personal reflection. I say brief because any more would've been a 2-hour long haiku about saving the planet. In stead it focused on the facts and actually tells you what to do and how you can help.

Superman Returns (June 28) - YAH
Eff'n amazing.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (July 7) - BOO
AKA: The Johnny Depp/Jack Sparrow Show - please end.
This was a close second to the worst film of the summer.

Clerks 2 (July 21) - YAH
What I was expecting to be a retelling of the original Clerks but with up-to-date pop culture references (though I knew I'd still enjoy it for what it's worth), turned out to be a film with more heart and thought (despite the donkey-fucking part... that simply had a donkey being fucked). As much fun as Jay and Silent Bob Strikes Back was, this was the true finale to the View Askew Verse. It started with Clerks and thus ended with Clerks.

Little Miss Sunshine (July 26) - YAH
This is the charming feel good flick of the year. You'll fall in love with the little girl and more often than not, it avoids cliches. Don't have much more to say about it except I saw it twice in theaters and didn't regret it.

Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (Aug 4) - BOO
Definitely had its funny LOL moments though obviously not as good or funny as Anchorman.

---------------------------------------

Honourable Mention:
Stranger Than Fiction (to be release in Nov '06) - YAH
This is my first Toronto Film Fest Flick I've seen and I wasn't disappointed. It's a great film with a great cast (Will Ferrell doesn't fall prey to being a funny add lib man who's always on). The film is charming, funny, heartwarming, touching and sweet.

When I see you cry

When you first left me
I was wanting more
But you were f**king that girl next door
What'cha do that for? (What'cha do that for?)

When you first left me
I didnt know what to say
I'd never been on my own that way
Just sat by myself all day

I was so lost back then
But with a little help from my friends
I found the light in the tunnel at the end

Now you're calling me up on the phone
So you can have a little whine and a moan
It's only because you are feeling alone

At first when I see you cry
It makes me smile
Yeah it makes me smile
At worst I feel bad for a while
But then I just smile
I go ahead and smile

Whenever you see me
You say that you want me back (Want me back)
And I tell you it don't mean that (It don't mean that)
No it don't mean that (No it don't mean that)

I couldn't stop laughing
No I just couldn't help myself
See you messed up my mental health
I was quite unwell

I was so lost back then
But with a little help from my friends
I found the light in the tunnel at the end

Now you're calling me up on the phone
So you can have a little whine and a moan
It's only because you're feeling alone

At first when I see you cry
It makes me smile
Yeah it makes me smile
At worst I feel bad for a while
But then I just smile
I go ahead and smile

Lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala
lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala
lalala lalala lalala

At first when I see you cry (When I see you cry)
It makes me smile (It makes me smile)
Yeah it makes me smile (Yeah it makes me smile)

At worst I feel bad for a while (I feel bad for a while)
But then I just smile (But then I just smile)
I go ahead and smile (I go ahead and smile)

lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala

At first when I see you cry (When I see you cry)
It makes me smile (It makes me smile)
Yeah it makes me smile (Yeah it makes me smile)

At worst I feel bad for a while (I feel bad for a while)
But then I just smile (But then I just smile)
I go ahead and smile (I go ahead and smile)

-- "Smile" by Lily Allen

The Cakes

This is really for my benefit. So, in case you have not heard, I like to bake. Particularly, I like to bake for other people. And I've also decided to name the cakes I have baked after the people I've baked them for (and in retrospect, I really wished I took pictures of each of these should I ever start a Cake recipe book). Instead, we'll just have to settle for descriptive words and back stories.

The "Kit" Kat Cake
Milk chocolate cake covered in milk chocolate frosting with a layer of wafer sandwiched with more frosting. This cake was made for Katharine Foster's birthday/my Appetizer Party but unfortunately this happened right after she turned vegan.

The Jill Cake
Chocolate cake topped with vanilla frosting and drizzled with chocolate. This one was for Miss Symington's last day at Red Rover. Many (if not, most) people were laid off due to the discontinuation of the show Get Ed (which I actually enjoyed). So I wouldn't exactly call this a celebratory cake, but it made Jill happy nonetheless.

The Emma Cake
White chocolate cake with white chocolate frosting garnished with rainbow sprinkles and trimmed with whipped cream. This cake was made for "Emma Appreciation Day" which turned into a genocide of our department (thanks to the burritos and not the cake). Emma is, by definition, a sultry minx.

The Evan Cake
Moist chocolate cake with rich vanilla frosting with a layer of crushed Oreos in the middle. Decorated with Oreo crumbs, whipped cream and Hershey Kisses. In my opinion the best cake turn-out... so far. And admittedly, I had wanted to have Batman on it because that seemed to be a running theme with the Evan presents I've given him (okay, there were 2 others but this could've been 3!)

The Nadia Cake
Same recipe for chocolate cake as with the Evan Cake (that's right, it was that good) but with milk chocolate frosting with creamy caramel sauce nuzzled between the layers of cake and the same caramel sauce drizzled on top. This cake was for a going away party for Nadia who decided to go back to school in Thunder Bay.

The Darko Cake
You'd think this cake should be dark chocolate. But no, it's rich yellow cake with caramel frosting and garnished with milk chocolate frosting and Hershey Kisses. This was for Darko's birthday who also shared it with Jonathan Soja... but this cake is not named for him as he's afraid of his own birthday celebrations and cake.

**UPDATE**

The Patty Cake
Oh the clever name! Whipped cream and strawberries nuzzled between two layers of fluffy white cake and covered with vanilla frosting garnished with strawberry slices was a compliment gift to the Firemen 2007 calendar I gave Patty for her birthday. The idea to use strawberries for her cake came when back in June for my birthday, Evan and Patty made me a chocolate cake with strawberries that Patty was so adamant on putting on the cake. Little did they know I'm actually not a huge fan of strawberries and she clearly is. Suffice to say, she enjoyed it.

The Andree Cake
Decadant yellow cake with chocolate frosting was the cake for this mother-to-be. I had actually made this cake for her birthday but when the day came, I plum forgot it on my kitchen counter. It was only in the morning as I was at my desk and thinking about the healthy frosting breakfast I had that I remembered about the cake. So we ended up having it the next day - no birthday song required.

Paris Hilton on her music

"I like, cry, when I listen to it, it's so good."

When Our Bodies Finally Go...

I've got a cupboard with cans of food,
filtered water, and pictures of you
and I'm not coming out until this is all over.
And I'm looking through the glass
Where the light bends at the cracks
And I'm screaming at the top of my lungs
Pretending the echoes belong to someone
Someone I used to know

And we become silhouettes
when our bodies finally go
ba ba ba ba

I wanted to walk through the empty streets
And feel something constant under my feet,
But all the news reports recommended that I stay indoors
Because the air outside will make
Our cells divide at an alarming rate
Until our shells simply cannot hold
All our insides in,
And that's when we'll explode
(And it won't be a pretty sight)

And we'll become silhouettes
when our bodies finally go
ba ba ba ba

-- "We Will Become Silhouettes" by The Postal Service

The Ultimate Showdown

Old Godzilla was hopping around
Tokyo City like a big playground
when suddenly Batman burst from the shade
and hit Godzilla with a Batgrenade
Godzilla got pissed and began to attack
but didn't expect to be blocked by Shaq
who proceeded to open up a can of Shaq Fu
when Aaron Carter came out of the blue

and he started beating up Shaquille O'Neal
then they both got flattened by the Batmobile
but before it could make it back to the Batcave
Abraham Lincoln popped out of his grave
and took an AK47 out from under his hat
and blew Batman away with a rat-a-tat-tat
but he ran out of bullets and he ran away
because Optimus Prime came to save the day

this is the Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny
good guys, bad guys, and explosions as far as the eye can see
and only one will survive, I wonder who it will be
this is the Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny

Godzilla took a bite out of Optimus Prime
like Scruff McGruff took a bite out of crime
and then Shaq came back covered in a tire track
but Jackie Chan jumped out and landed on his back
and Batman was injured, and trying to get steady
when Abraham Lincoln came back with a machete
but suddenly something caught his leg and he tripped
Indiana Jones took him out with his whip

then he saw Godzilla sneaking up from behind
and he reached for his gun which he just couldn't find
'cause Batman stole it and he shot and he missed
and Jackie Chan deflected it with his fist
then he jumped in the air and did a summersault
while Abraham Lincoln tried to pole vault
onto Optimus Prime, but they collided in the air
then they both got hit by a Care Bear Stare, oooh

this is the Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny
good guys, bad guys, and explosions as far as the eye can see
and only one will survive, I wonder who it will be
this is the Ultimate Showdown...

angels sang out in immaculate chorus
down from the heavens descended Chuck Norris
who deliver a kick which could shatter bones
into the crotch of Indiana Jones
who fell over on the ground, writhing in pain
as Batman changed back into Bruce Wayne
but Chuck saw through his clever disguise
and he crushed Batman's head in between his thighs

then Gandalf the Grey and Gandalf the White and
"Monty Python and the Holy Grail"'s Black Knight and
Benito Mussolini and The Blue Meanie and
Cowboy Curtis and Jambi the Genie
Robocop, the Terminator, Captain Kirk, and Darth Vader
Lo Pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger
Bill S. Preston and Theodore Logan,
Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock, and Hulk Hogan
all came out of no where lightning fast
and they kicked Chuck Norris in his cowboy ass
it was the bloodiest battle the world ever saw
with civilians looking on total awe

and the fight raged on for a century
many lives were claimed, but eventually
the champion stood, the rest saw their better:
Mr. Rogers in a bloodstained sweater

this is the Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny
good guys, bad guys, and explosions as far as the eye can see
and only one will survive, I wonder who it will be
this is the Ultimate Showdown...
this is the Ultimate Showdown...
this is the Ultimate Showdown...
of Ultimate Destiny

-- "The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny" by Lemon Demon

Kevin Smith, I salute you!

And here's why.

(link sent by Evan)

And read the article here.

Once upon a time...

There was a girl named karaoke-catgirl and she had a live journal.

I came across it, having remembered the URL, and quite frankly I couldn't bare to read it. I started it when I moved to Toronto - January 2004. I was against having a live journal for some time as I objected to some of the personal stuff Ryan would post but thought I'd keep one while I was away.

Little did I know I'd be gone for a long while.

Looking back into this window to the past, I see a girl lost, full of emotions, trying to be something, stuggling. She is sad, pathetic and depressed. She is gulity for having moments of happiness or giddiness. She is unhealthy, troubled and torn. She hurt someone she loved very much. Selfish, stupid girl.

So who am I now? I'm a woman who is happy with herself, happy with her surroundings. Yes, I'm single but I'm far from lonely. Life isn't perfect; it just is and I love it. I love. What a difference two years can make. And from upon starting that old live journal to continuing this blog, I am also at least 10 pairs of shoes richer. Thank you to my wonderful friends and my loving family for being there - well not for the shoes; that was all me!

Take care. I'll see you all later! Well except you, karaoke-catgirl. Your song is over :)

Just letting you know, this will be a rare instance where I post a personal post. Not that there's anything wrong with it - I just figured those who are really close and dear to me, I will feel free to open up and bear my heart and soul to. But seeing as this was reflecting on an old live journal, I thought it oddly fitting.

Said goodbye to my best friend

I fell asleep last Saturday
Underneath polluted skies
I walked alone in those Jersey nights
And I
Saw the board walk start to fall
The emptyness starts to drown
The quiet corners of this town tonight

Late last night I made my plans
It was the only thing I felt I could do
Said goodbye to my best friend
Sometimes there’s no one left to tell you the truth

It's gonna kill me the rest of my life
Let me apologize while I’m still alive
I know it's time to face
All of my past mistakes
It's gonna kill me for the rest of my life

This is my all time low
Somehow it feels so familiar
Somehow it seems so familiar
I feel like letting go
And every second that goes by
I’m screaming out for second tries

Said goodbye to my best friend
Sometimes there’s no one left to tell you the truth
It's gonna kill me the rest of my life
Let me apologize while I'm still alive
I know it's time to face
All of my past mistakes
I've got to live with them the rest of my life

This is the mess I've made
These are the words I can’t erase
This is my life support
Shutting down
For the final time
And it twists like a blade
And kills me for the rest of my life

If you won’t forgive me the rest of my life
Let me apologize while I’m still alive
I know it's time to face
All of my past mistakes
It's gonna kill me for the rest of my life

It's gonna kill me for the rest of my life
It's gonna kill me for the rest of my life

- "The Rest of My Life" by Less Than Jake

The Geek Wants Out!

Four Spoken Word Recordings by Ernest Cline:

Nerd Porn Auteur
When I Was A Kid
Airwolf
The Geek Wants Out

Dr. Tran!

Oh shit! It's Dr. Tran!















(link sent by Evan)

And that's the way I like it...

My head is a box filled with nothing
and that's the way I like it
My garden's a secret compartment
and that's the way I like itand that's the way I like it
Your body's a dream that turns violent
and that's the way I like it
and that's the way I like it
The winter is long in the city
and that's the way I like it

So please
Baby please
Open your heart
Catch my disease
I was backstage in Pomona
and that's the way I like it
She drank beer with Coca-Cola
and that's the way I like it
and that's the way I like it
She told me about the winds from Santa Ana
and that's the way I like it
and that's the way I like it
She told me she'd love me like fireworks
and that's the way I like it

So please Baby please
open your eyes
and catch my disease
So please Baby please
come on
and catch my disease

catch it
Na na na na na na na na na

(laughter)

They play Good Charlotte on the radio
and that's the way I like it
They play Sleepy Jackson on the radio
and that's the way I like it
and that's the way I like it
I hear Beyonce on the radio
and that's the way I like it
'cause that's the way I like it
they don't play me on the radio
but that's the way I like it

So please Baby please
Open your heart
and catch my disease

So please
Baby please
Come onnnnnnnn
And catch my disease
Catch my disease!

nananananananana
Catch my disease
nananananananana
Catch my disease
nananananananana
Catch my disease

nananananananana
nananananananana

nananananananana
nananana
nananananananana (ooooo)

- "Catch My Disease" by Ben Lee

Hiphopotamus vs. Rhymenoceros

A classic gangster/folk crossover by The Flight of the Conchords.












(link sent by Evan)

Are You Rollin' With Bob Saget?

Bob Saget, bitch! You bettah askx someone!

(link sent by Kelly)

Ode to Short-Lived Animated Shows

Family Dog (1993)
Created by: Brad Bird (of The Incredibles and The Iron Giant fame)
Executive produced by: Tim Burton and Steven Spielberg.
Voice actors: Martin Mull

Spin-off to an episode of Steven Spielberg's Amazing Stories. Told of the trials and tribulations of the Binford's family dog.

Amazing Stories: Family Dog Pt. 1
Amazing Stories: Family Dog Pt. 2
Amazing Stories: Family Dog Pt. 3













---------------------------------------------------------

Clerks: the Animated Series (2000)
Created by: Kevin Smith
Executive Produced: a surprising large number of people - so we'll just say Scott Mosier :D
Voice actors: Brian O'Halloran, Jeff Anderson, Jason Mewes and Alec Baldwin

The continuing adventures of this generation's favourite slackers - Dante and Randal

Clip of the Korean style animation











---------------------------------------------------------

Clone High (2002)
Created by: Phil Lord and Chris Miller
Executive Produced by: Phil Lord and Bill Lawrence (of Scrubs fame)
Voices actors: Will Forte, Nicole Sullivan, and Christa Miller

The greatest minds of the world have been cloned and are now attending high school together.

First episode
Finale Pt. 1
Finale Pt. 2











---------------------------------------------------------

The Oblongs (2001)
Created by: Angus Oblong and Jace Richdale
Executive Produced by: Jace Richdale and Bruce Helford
Voice actors: Will Ferrell and Jean Smart

The misadventures of a goofy family deformed by toxic waste - that's always fun!
Four minute trailer














---------------------------------------------------------

Undergrads (2001)
Created by: Pete Williams
Executive Produced by: Neil Court and Steven DeNure
Voice actors: Pete Williams

The misadventures of a group of childhood friends who keep in touch even while they go to separate colleges.

Undergrads Promo

Former school denounces Michelle Williams

Pst, no one tell them about Dawson’s Creek.

Brokeback Mountain actress Michelle Williams has received some harsh criticism for her role as the wife of a homosexual cowboy. The critic is none other than the headmaster of her former school, Sante Fe Christian School in San Diego, California, Jim Hopson.

Hopson declares Williams is "offensive" for acting in the controversial Oscar nominated film and branded her as a poor role-model. He tells the San Diego Union Tribune, "We don't want to have anything to do with her in relation to that movie. Michelle doesn't represent the values of this institution. Brokeback Mountain basically promotes a lifestyle we don't promote." Clearly, that lifestyle includes tolerance and acceptance.

Besides this backlash Williams has received, she has also been showered with praises most notably, an Oscar nom. Should Williams win the coveted award, it’s a safe bet she won’t give any shout outs to the good folks at Sante Fe Christian School.

Wacky Sports Folleys

Entertainment Quickies

I see a red door and I want to paint it bleep
Veteran rockers The Rolling Stones were enraged by the censorship of their sexually suggestive lyrics during Superbowl XL this past weekend branding it as "absolutely ridiculous and completely unnecessary". The NFL has gone on record, claiming the band agreed to the censorship beforehand as a precautionary measure to avoid any backlash from family audiences; reminiscent of Janet Jackson's wardrobe malfunction two years prior.

Editors turned down the microphone for risqué lines in Start Me Up and Rough Justice from The Stones' new album A Bigger Bang which in itself sounds risqué. Okay, here's what confuses me: Were these songs not already agreed upon before the show? And hasn't Start Me Up been around for years? If they wanted a risk free performance, they should've signed on Raffi.

Baby, you can drive my car...
Just when Britney Spears was proving to be the more competent parent, she was photographed with her baby Sean Preston sitting perilously in her lap while driving through Malibu. The Los Angeles County Department of Children and Family Services (DCFS) are going to investigate Spears who claims she took off without strapping her child in the backseat because she was suddenly hounded by paparazzi. However, the DCFS and California police might not take sympathy on the young mother/pop diva. Under California law, it's illegal to have a child as young as Sean Preston not restrained in a baby seat. Britney can expect a $270 fine at the very least.

My question is why wasn't husband Kevin Federline in the backseat? You know, behind a cage with child-protected locks trying to bum a smoke off the officer. But hey, that's neither here nor there.

L.A.'s Let's Be Friends

Crow and Armstrong split

Apparently he wasn't Armstrong enough to be her man…wow; that was bad

Seven-time Tour de France winner Lance Armstrong and multi-Grammy winner Sheryl Crow have called it quits after a 6-month engagement and a two-year courtship. The pair announced in a joint statement Friday night: "After much thought and consideration we have made a very tough decision to split up. We both have a deep love and respect for each other and we ask that everyone respect our privacy during this very difficult time,"

This would have been her first married and his second with three children from his previous marriage.

Crow, 43, however, managed to bounce back from this split to model at a charity fashion show this past weekend. Hopefully the 34-year-old Armstrong can find the strength to overcome this breakup. After all, he recovered from testicular cancer to become the dominant athlete in one of the world's most grueling sporting events – what’s a little "she's just not that into you"?

Look who's hooking up in Tinseltown

That is just his lightsabre, but he's still happy to see her
So Sienna Miller is giving Penelope Cruz a run for her peso on who can shack up with a co-star the fastest. Miller, still on the rebound and recouping from the fiasco known as Jude Law, has been romantically involved with her Layer Cake co-star Daniel Craig and of course, Law, whom she met on the set of Alfie. Now Canadian actor Hayden Christensen, whom she worked with in the upcoming film Factory Girl, is the object of her affection. Until her next film, that is.

The couple has been spotted canoodling, flirting and (gulp) karaoking at the cast party for Factory Girl. And most recently, they were caught shopping at the mall on a Sunday afternoon – awww, he must really like her like her!

Note: there is only ONE Star Wars reference! Be proud of me!

Life after Jessica for Lachey
Could it be Nick Lachey has found a new main squeeze after his high-profile divorce to pop diva Jessica Simpson? In Touch reports Lachey's been keeping close company with one-time Miss Kentucky USA and would-be actress, Elizabeth Arnold. The pair has been seen "making out" at various L.A. hot spots (note to self: go to L.A.)

Lachey's reps refuse to comment on Nick's busy hands with Arnold but it's safe to say when people see them they will ask, "who's that girl with Nick?" in stead of "There's Jessica and that 98 Degrees guy."

Desperate Booty Calls?
Okay, this one may be a stretch but rumour has it Hollywood's most eligible bachelor George Clooney may be sweeping a Desperate Housewife off her feet. Clooney and Teri Hatcher, who conveniently live on the same street in Studio City (note to self: go to Studio City), have created buzz around Tinseltown that they are dating.

Both, of course have dismissed these rumours, though when asked about it by Extra, Clooney says "Yes, I heard that," before adding, "She's fantastic. She's a friend. I've known her for 15 years."

Translation: "It was bound to happen."

The Year in Review - in Entertainment

2005: We hardly knew you

This past year brought the best and worst out of Hollywood – from heroine chic being the new ‘in’ look to babies being the latest accessories. And we can’t forget the “are they/aren’t they?” or the “do you like me like me?” discussions no doubt you’ve shared around the office by the water fountain – oh was it just me then?

So to kick off the New Year, we take a look back at 2005 and all its glory. Afterall, you don’t know where you’re going unless you know where you’ve been.

Hook ups that shook up
Honestly, some relationships end before we even knew they started. And apparently country singers seem to know how to push some of Hollywood’s starlets’ buttons (I’m looking at you, Nicole Kidman and Renee Zellweger). But no one takes the cake more than that couple we’ve grown to loathe.

So the recipients of the “We So Crazy” award goes to Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. With a 16 years difference, they’ve managed to create quite the media stir with their public displays of affection, his talk show couch orgasms, their sudden engagement after 2 months of courtship followed by a pregnancy announcement and her conversion to Scientology that had her Catholic parents in a rage. I’d wish them the best if he wasn’t Mr. Crazy Crazerson and she wasn’t Katie Holmes.

Break ups that shake up
The year began with the break up of Hollwood’s cutest and “oh, I hope they pull though” couple – Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston. There was even hope of a rekindling of their romance but that fell through with the buzz of an affair with the sultry Angelina Jolie (Brad had the affair… not Jen). And MTV’s Newly Weds Nick and Jessica finally split after almost a year’s worth of speculating. Others to split were Renee Zellweger from country singer Kenny Chesney after 4 months of wedded bliss citing the reason as “Fraud”, Paris Hilton’s engagement to Greek shipping heir Paris Latsis ended (ya, we’re all broken up about that), as well as her Simple Life co-star Nicole Ritchie from her DJ fiance.

But the winner for the “…And Nanny Makes Three” award is none other than Jude Law and Sienna Miller. His affair with his children’s nanny, Daisy Wright went public when the nanny released her detailed and a bit graphic sexual account with the Alfie star. Law’s open apology met a dead end with Miller but the rumour mill kept on spinning about a possible reunion between the two until Law later discovered she had an affair with his friend and fellow actor, Daniel Craig, before he had his with the nanny. Oh snap!

Say ‘I do’ then make me a sandwich
Some engagements actually did follow through like Donald Trump to Slovenia model Melania Knauss and Christina Aguilera to record producer Jordan Bratman. Hopefully married life will clean up her dirrty reputation. And nothing says “I do” more than being knocked up by Daredevil. Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck secret wedding took place shortly after speculation of her being pregnant arose. Wedding dress purchased from a maternity store confirmed the rumours.

However the “Don’t Call Me Mother Unless I Tell You To” award goes to Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher who despite their 15-year age difference seem to be stronger than most couples out there. But that also means he was 12-years-old when Ghost came out. He must really hate Patrick Swayze… oh, that had nothing to do with the movie Ghost.

Baby booms and bangs
What better way to make a statement without saying a word than by having your very own baby! Pop singer Britney decided shortly after marrying Kevin Federline that she wanted to start a family. Her first step was marrying a freeloading bum then being impregnated by it. Affleck and Garner also had a baby girl this year, a first for both of them. And of course Katie Holmes is expecting a child and has agreed to a silent birth as Scientology practice dictates (I’m tempted to give this child a “I’m Screwed From The Start” award).

But alas, the “I’m The Greatest Human Being Ever – Oh, And I’m Hot” award goes to Angelina Jolie who adopted Zahara, an orphan from Africa whose mother passed away from AIDS. This is the second child Jolie has adopted from a third world country (the first being Maddox, whom she adopted while married to Billy Bob Thornton). I want to hate this woman but can’t. She’s a UN ambassador who rescues orphaned children. She has lips, breasts and an ass that would make anybody give up everything just to walk within her vicinity (Brad Pitt, I’m looking in your general direction).

The Rumour Mill spins
Everybody loves a little gossip. It’s even better when it’s not about you. Some one who took a lot of hits this year was Lindsay Lohan with her reported make-up session with Bruce Willis, plus reports of her father and his threats to his family. She was also in the middle of alleged eating disorder claims. She wasn’t the only one people suspected of anorexia – Nicole Ritchie, Keira Knightly, Mischa Barton and Mary-Kate Olsen who went into rehab for her anorexia. Other gossip that stirred up the year was who’s dating who – so high school. Jessica Simpson and her closeness to Dukes of Hazzard co-star Johnny Knoxville may have led to the inevitable spit between her and her husband, Nick Lachey. Sienna Miller’s alleged tryst with Daniel Craig also put the final stamp on her relationship with Jude Law.

The “Who Are We Kidding?” award is a tie between Brangelina and Brad’s former better half Jennifer Aniston and her The Break Up co-star Vince Vaughn. Brad Pitt and Angelina’s charity visits to foreign countries, them purchasing homes near each other for those convenient booty calls and the photos taken of them on a beach with her children all family-like all point to them being the new “It” couple. Though both deny the relationship being anything more than just friends, these actions scream “Oh Come On!” of epic proportions. And like ex-husband, like ex-wife, Aniston’s “friendship” to bachelor Vince Vaughn seems to be a bit more as photos of the pair kissing and canoodling were released. Fess up kids, it’s lust.

Wacky Stunts
We will never forget Mariah Carey and her posing with a cripple homeless man, or her own minor wardrobe malfunction on stage, or that time she had a six-pack drawn on her abs (maybe she should’ve gotten the “Who Are We Kidding?” award). Not to mention Russell Crowe’s temper tantrum when he threw a telephone at a hotel concierge for not connecting his call. How about Tara Reid’s, Paris Hilton’s and Jessica Simpson’s Girls Gone Drunk photos at various clubs in Hollywood? And of course The King of Wacky – Wacko Jacko. Michael Jackson’s child molestation trial turned circus with celeb appearances and him showing up late in pajamas.

But the final award of “You Had Me at Crazy” goes to Mr. Tom Cruise. In an interview with Matt Lauer, Cruise states no body knows about psychology like he does sparking a feud with actress Brooke Shield over the use of the anti-depressant drug Paxil. His public raves over his love for Katie Holmes (whom he has convinced, should be called Kate from now on) has everyone thinking “enough already”. The public affection and the cold sores on her face clearly say ‘love’. He has gone on record saying she is the most wonderful woman he’s ever met. I mean, even calling Kate Holmes a ‘woman’ is enough to have anybody locked up. Did I mention he loves her?

And finally In memory of…
Seems too many to name, but here is a short list of celebs that passed this year but changed the face of entertainment. They will be missed.

Johnny Carson, 79
Ann Bancroft, 73
Bob Denver, 70
Richard Pryor, 65
Luther Vandross, 54
Ossie Davis, 87
Don Adams, 82
Pat Morita, 73
Peter Jennings, 67
James Doohan, 85
Nipsey Russell, 81
Robert Wise, 91

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Btw, here is a drastically altered version of my article. It catches a few things I missed
http://www.star-tv.com/starnews/index.asp?story_id=16906