Oops, he did it again! And by ‘did it again’ I mean he managed to prove what a horrible human being he is
Celebrity leech Kevin Federline apparently missed his son’s first birthday according to Pagesix.com. Yes, this is the son in which ex-girlfriend, Shar Jackson, was pregnant with when Federline left her for pop princess/white trash Britney Spears.
A spokesperson for Jackson said that little Kaleb’s birthday "came and went without a visit, present or phone call from Kevin or Britney." Federline’s publicist has not commented on this. I’m thinking the less time this boy spends with his biological father, the better. Though I’d say he’s in a lose-lose situation with his mommy dating Quentin Tarantino.
Jackson has also recently accused Federline of stiffing her on child-support payments for both Kaleb and their 2-year old daughter, Kori. Are these things to come for the new bundles of joy expected to make media appearance in September? Well, I guess you actually have to have money to stiff someone on child-support. And since Britney is the breadwinner in that family, Kevin probably doesn’t have to worry about anything except when his next allowance will come in.
In other Spears/Federline news: the birth of their expected twins might be televised. Sigh. Am I really surprised? Why not do the whole nine yards when milking their celebrity dry and expose a very private moment like childbirth? I already have a problem seeing Britney’s outsides, why would I want to see her insides too?
7.18.2005
Sleeping with 'Mary Hoppins'
Actor Jude Law admitted to having an affair with his children's 26-year-old British nanny, Daisy Wright. I fail to believe in this fabricated story for a number of reasons: 1) I'm 25; 2) I wasn't working this weekend; 3) I'm not British and 4) my name is not Daisy Wright.
The Alfie star was apparently caught by one of his children who told Law's ex-wife Sadie Frost; 'Mary Hoppins' was of course fired following this revelation.
This also calls for the end of Law's current engagement to model/thinks-she-can-act Sienna Miller. "Following the reports in today's paper, I just want to say I am deeply ashamed and upset that I've hurt Sienna," says Jude in response. "I want to publicly apologize to Sienna."
Meanwhile, The Sun reports that Law is allegedly looking to rekindle his romance with Wright when he called her last Thursday. Wright, who admits to falling for Law, was hurt by her dismissal of her job and realizes Law was using her for sex. She tells the British paper, "He said he desperately needed to show me that our relationship wasn't just about sex. But how could I trust him again after he cast me aside so easily before." My God, let the man show you! Let him show you 4 times in one night if he has to.
What I admire most of this story is that Law's own child ratted him out (I believe Law is officially having the kid's name changed to Snitchy McSnitch-a-lot). And this also goes to show you sexy men don't always win when it comes to cheating...unless you're Brad Pitt and you're doing Angelina Jolie.
The Alfie star was apparently caught by one of his children who told Law's ex-wife Sadie Frost; 'Mary Hoppins' was of course fired following this revelation.
This also calls for the end of Law's current engagement to model/thinks-she-can-act Sienna Miller. "Following the reports in today's paper, I just want to say I am deeply ashamed and upset that I've hurt Sienna," says Jude in response. "I want to publicly apologize to Sienna."
Meanwhile, The Sun reports that Law is allegedly looking to rekindle his romance with Wright when he called her last Thursday. Wright, who admits to falling for Law, was hurt by her dismissal of her job and realizes Law was using her for sex. She tells the British paper, "He said he desperately needed to show me that our relationship wasn't just about sex. But how could I trust him again after he cast me aside so easily before." My God, let the man show you! Let him show you 4 times in one night if he has to.
What I admire most of this story is that Law's own child ratted him out (I believe Law is officially having the kid's name changed to Snitchy McSnitch-a-lot). And this also goes to show you sexy men don't always win when it comes to cheating...unless you're Brad Pitt and you're doing Angelina Jolie.
7.13.2005
Hollywood gossip not worth writing home about
Pitt’s sick, Carey’s crazy, Kidman’s boy-crazy
Brad Pitt has the flu
Stop the presses! He must’ve drunk the water in Africa when he accompanied Angelina Jolie to pick up her new adopted baby girl…and after they probably had sex. He sure does get thirsty. Actor Brad Pitt has been hospitalized in Los Angeles with a severe case of influenza. Pitt checked himself into an undisclosed hospital on Monday night. He is expected to make a full recovery…you know, like everyone else who’s ever had the flu. Heck, I just discovered a huge bruise on my thigh - I have no idea where it came from. The only coverage that will get will be if I put it in my blog - if.
Mariah Carey pulls a Janet Jackson
During a TV show in Germany, pop singer and part-time crazy person Mariah Carey had a wardrobe malfunction when her dress fell apart. Lucky for her and the audience, the floor managers cut the lights to censor Carey as she gathered her clothes before dashing offstage to regroup according to MTV news.
Carey quips, "Someone bring me a jacket or the show's off, we all know how quickly these images can spread around the world." Oh my god, it made a funny. The lesson learned here: Buy sweatshop clothes. Get sweatshop quality.
Nicole Kidman was one of those girls
Nicole Kidman tells Glamour magazine her marriage to Tom Cruise put a screeching halt to a lot of her friendships when she married the Risky Business star at the age of 21. Since her divorce to Cruise in 2001, Kidman has reconnected with a lot of her childhood friends and is determined not to let her pals slip away again…or until the next man comes along. Oh we’ve all been there - blow off a friend’s birthday for a date, nothing else matters beside you and your new found love, forget about the people who are really there for you until you get dumped on you’re ass again and you come crawling back. Well Nicky, I spit on your Vera Wang dress!
Call me.
Brad Pitt has the flu
Stop the presses! He must’ve drunk the water in Africa when he accompanied Angelina Jolie to pick up her new adopted baby girl…and after they probably had sex. He sure does get thirsty. Actor Brad Pitt has been hospitalized in Los Angeles with a severe case of influenza. Pitt checked himself into an undisclosed hospital on Monday night. He is expected to make a full recovery…you know, like everyone else who’s ever had the flu. Heck, I just discovered a huge bruise on my thigh - I have no idea where it came from. The only coverage that will get will be if I put it in my blog - if.
Mariah Carey pulls a Janet Jackson
During a TV show in Germany, pop singer and part-time crazy person Mariah Carey had a wardrobe malfunction when her dress fell apart. Lucky for her and the audience, the floor managers cut the lights to censor Carey as she gathered her clothes before dashing offstage to regroup according to MTV news.
Carey quips, "Someone bring me a jacket or the show's off, we all know how quickly these images can spread around the world." Oh my god, it made a funny. The lesson learned here: Buy sweatshop clothes. Get sweatshop quality.
Nicole Kidman was one of those girls
Nicole Kidman tells Glamour magazine her marriage to Tom Cruise put a screeching halt to a lot of her friendships when she married the Risky Business star at the age of 21. Since her divorce to Cruise in 2001, Kidman has reconnected with a lot of her childhood friends and is determined not to let her pals slip away again…or until the next man comes along. Oh we’ve all been there - blow off a friend’s birthday for a date, nothing else matters beside you and your new found love, forget about the people who are really there for you until you get dumped on you’re ass again and you come crawling back. Well Nicky, I spit on your Vera Wang dress!
Call me.
7.06.2005
Hit Me Baby...with some money!
Britney Spears broke
And I don’t mean her water
As it turns out, in order to spend money, it would probably be wise to be making money in the process. That way, you can spend more money, more profusely. Preggers Pop princess Britney Spears is eager to torture us with a new album because she and her husband are running out of money. Spears and Kevin Federline are struggling to fund their white-trash mirror of celebrity life having also spent $7 million on a new Malibu house.
Spears, of course, is taking a maternity leave from singing and dancer Federline hasn’t worked for over a year. I have an idea, how about you dance your ass over to the unemployment line you fucking deadbeat!
The solution? Cut a new album asap. According to New York Post columnist Cindy Adams, "Mrs. Federline recently made a quiet call to her record label. The gist of the discussion: We've got to get money in the house. Cash flow is going down. How about we cut another album?" I have yet another idea: We all hop into our time machine and show Britney and Kevin that episode of Degrassi High when Erica has unsafe sex.
Or how about be careful of your money because you’re bringing a child into this world and that baby will have to come first? Just a thought.
And I don’t mean her water
As it turns out, in order to spend money, it would probably be wise to be making money in the process. That way, you can spend more money, more profusely. Preggers Pop princess Britney Spears is eager to torture us with a new album because she and her husband are running out of money. Spears and Kevin Federline are struggling to fund their white-trash mirror of celebrity life having also spent $7 million on a new Malibu house.
Spears, of course, is taking a maternity leave from singing and dancer Federline hasn’t worked for over a year. I have an idea, how about you dance your ass over to the unemployment line you fucking deadbeat!
The solution? Cut a new album asap. According to New York Post columnist Cindy Adams, "Mrs. Federline recently made a quiet call to her record label. The gist of the discussion: We've got to get money in the house. Cash flow is going down. How about we cut another album?" I have yet another idea: We all hop into our time machine and show Britney and Kevin that episode of Degrassi High when Erica has unsafe sex.
Or how about be careful of your money because you’re bringing a child into this world and that baby will have to come first? Just a thought.
7.05.2005
When in doubt, asses out
Brett Ratner directs XXX-Men
Director Brett Ratner, who took over the reigns for the upcoming X-Men sequel from Bryan Singer, is apparently planning to release the new film in brown paper wrapping. The Rush Hour director has added a new villain in an attempt to leave his mark with the comic book movie franchise – a sex siren mutant who seduces her opponents instead of battling them. Yes, by “leave his mark” I mean that stain on the bed sheet IS what you think it is.
A source tells Pagesix.com the mutant will be, "An unbelievably hot and sexy hooker. Her super power is that she secretes a pheromone that helps her to seduce men. She can seduce anyone." That’s not a super power, that’s called being me!
The new mutant has yet to be cast but will likely be an unknown since no one in their right mind would want to commit career suicide playing Lolita, the pheromone sprouting whore.
Director Brett Ratner, who took over the reigns for the upcoming X-Men sequel from Bryan Singer, is apparently planning to release the new film in brown paper wrapping. The Rush Hour director has added a new villain in an attempt to leave his mark with the comic book movie franchise – a sex siren mutant who seduces her opponents instead of battling them. Yes, by “leave his mark” I mean that stain on the bed sheet IS what you think it is.
A source tells Pagesix.com the mutant will be, "An unbelievably hot and sexy hooker. Her super power is that she secretes a pheromone that helps her to seduce men. She can seduce anyone." That’s not a super power, that’s called being me!
The new mutant has yet to be cast but will likely be an unknown since no one in their right mind would want to commit career suicide playing Lolita, the pheromone sprouting whore.
7.04.2005
Affleck knocks up J.Gar
So, it was confirmed: Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner are married and expecting a child. The top-secret ceremony was held at the exclusive Parrot Cay resort on the Turks and Caicos Islands Thursday night. Their publicists, Ken Sunshine and Nicole King, confirmed this news shortly after the couple was seen arriving at the island and reports in Us Weekly were published saying that they had wed.
Coincidentally, Affleck, who of course was previously engaged to Jenny from the private villa of spoiled snobs, was originally going to have his ceremony at a spa resort with J.Lo but it was called off due to security concerns - and by “security concerns” I mean “Affleck sobered up and came to his senses.”
This is the first marriage for the Pearl Harbor star and a second for the Alias actress who divorced actor Scott Foley in March 2004. Affleck and Garner met on the set of Daredevil in 2003 while Affleck was still with Lopez…wait a minute…doing the math…DRA-MA!
Though, I find it odd that news of them expecting a baby has just been confirmed. Isn’t she like in her third trimester? So that doesn’t really come as a surprise, except for the fact I could have sworn he was having man-sex with Matt Damon. Oh well, a knocked up actress sure proved me wrong.
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