Vin Diesel: Revisited

Vin Diesel killed Bill Cosby. Bill Cosby is not yet aware of this, as Vin Diesel has not chosen to make this death known.

Leap years are caused by Vin Diesel holding the earth back from rotating.

Vin Diesel once watched The House of 1000 Corpses, and somehow managed to get those two hours of his life back.

Paradoxically, half of Vin Diesel equals one Vin Diesel. This means that one quarter Vin Diesel also equals one Vin Diesel, and on and on forever. The Vin Diesel that we perceive is the sum total of an infinite amount of Vin Diesels and his powers reflect this.

Vin Diesel once invented a plane with no wings. He put wheels underneath it and called it a train.

When Vin Diesel wishes to mail a letter, he forces it down the throat of the nearest housepet, then hurls the animal in the direction of the recipient's house.

Vin Diesel doesn't like Ping Pong. Nor does he like Indians.

He is made up of smaller, slightly more British Vin Diesels.

When Vin Diesel laughs, the whole world laughs with him. When Vin Diesel kills, the whole world dies.

Vin Diesel once killed a man by flexing his biceps in his general direction.

Guns don't kill people, Vin Diesel kills people. Sometimes with guns.

Vin Diesel does not believe in ghosts. Ghosts believe in him.

Vin Diesel once punched a man so hard, it killed his entire extended family and close friends.