God, I love work!

The Non-Existent Blog

I was in the middle of writing this blog for the FT website (aptly called Producer's Journal) when I suddenly realized I wasn't going to publish it. So instead it finds its way here:

About over a year ago, I was asked to work on a new series’ web site and I felt oddly proud to be part of that particular project. And the new series in question? Cycle One of Canada’s Next Top Model. A year has passed, and many things have changed or rather evolved: 1) the site for Cycle Two is probably one of the sexiest I’ve seen 2) the show stepped up its game proving to be more compelling and exciting than the previous year and dare I say, previous America’s Next Top Model cycles (oh no she dinnit!) and 3) I, in no way, helped or was a part of Cycle Two’s run.

And in doing so (or rather NOT doing so) I was not included in this year’s finale party. You know how our lovely FT producers are always blogging about the hottest parties they go to and come back with lots of sexy pictures and sexier stories? Well here’s my riveting blog about the finale party I didn’t go to :)

...

And then Rebecca won.

Monsieur Jacques "I'm So French"

Back from Paris and THIS is the first picture I post :)

An Open Letter to the Cake Thief

I did not send this. This came from the CHUM International Marketing Manager in an email to the building titled: An open letter to the cake thief...

Hi all,

Most of you probably already know this - but when you see a really big cake, with a MuchMusic logo on it, and a lid on it, and no slices taken out of it - a virgin cake, if you will - it's probably not a great idea to take a HUGE FREAKING SLICE. Needless to say, it's put a little kink in our celebratory plans with our channel format partners.

If you see food in the 4th floor CI kitchen, leave it alone unless someone says it OK. Thanks.

I’m Telling You for the Last Time...

I AM NOT A DESIGNER!

This goes out to my parents who, despite the past 3 years where I’ve told them I’m a content coordinator and had to explain to them what exactly it is I do countless times, think I’m a designer. I am not nor have I ever been a designer for CHUM Interactive. Please stop thinking and telling people I am a designer.

Also, please stop sounding disappointed every single time I correct you and clarify that I am not, in fact, a designer but merely a content coordinator. Seriously, it’s actually starting to hurt my feelings. I gave up my hopes and dreams of being a designer 3 years ago and haven't looked back.

Not what you think...

Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.

Emma says:
Capers, Cauliflower, Casino Royale!
I think I want to find a "bears, beets, Battlestar galactica" reference for every letter in the alphabet
miVi says:
well that concludes my Tuesday -- i shall help
Emma says:
challenge accepted
Player 2 enters the game

You see the pattern. You can play along too!

-----------------------------

Aardvarks. Avocados. Arrested Development
Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.
Cats. Cauliflower. Casino Royale.
Dogs, dandelions, death of a salesman
Eagles, enemas, eternal sunshine of the spotless mind (according to Emma, "enema" may not be an edible fruit or vegetable or plant, it's just an awesome word)
Ferrets. Figs. Full House.
Giraffes. Grapes. Grey's Anatomy.
H
Iguanas. Ivy. Indiana Jones.
J
K
Llamas. Lemons. Love Boat.
M
N
O
P
Q
R
Squirrels. Strawberries. Saved by the Bell.
T
U
V
W
X
Y
Z

It was 40 Years Ago Today!

It was twenty years ago today
Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play
They've been going in and out of style
But they're guaranteed to raise a smile
So may I introduce to you
The act you've known for all these years
Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band

We're Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band
We hope you will enjoy the show
We're Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band
Sit back and let the evening go
Sgt. Pepper's lonely, Sgt. Pepper's lonely
Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band
It's wonderful to be here
It's certainly a thrill
You're such a lovely audience
We'd like to take you home with us
We'd love to take you home

I don't really want to stop the show
But I thought that you might like to know
That the singer's going to sing a song
And he wants you all to sing along
So let me introduce to you
The one and only Billy Shears
And Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band!

Happy Birthday Sgt. Pepper!

Give this a listen!

A Softer World: Cupcakes

Flight of the Conchords

Flight of the Conchords follows the trials and tribulations of a two man, digi-folk band from New Zealand as they try to make a name for themselves in their adopted home of New York City. The band is made up of Bret McKenzie on guitar and vocals, and Jemaine Clement on guitar and vocals.

Here's the cross-promo with Entourage for their new show on HBO:)

I [heart] these guys!

Thumbs Down - the latest edition

Thumbs Down to the thief who stole a plastic slide structure from inside a fenced play area at the Kakabeka Falls Public School. How does it feel to steal from a bunch of kindergarten students? I‘m curious to know what you told your children, about where you got this new toy for them. And since we‘re talking about thieves, Thumbs Down to whoever found the full bottle of children‘s shampoo in the women‘s showers at Churchill Pool a couple of weeks ago and didn‘t turn it into the lost and found. I know it is just shampoo, but it was brought by the Easter Bunny to my four year old, and was adorned with her favourite Disney princess.
May 25, 2007

Thumbs down to the “two young men in a white Sierra GMC pickup truck who drove 120 km/h down the Thunder Bay Expressway with their heads sticking out of the windows Thursday. What were you thinking? What if an insect or stone hit you in the eye causing you to lose control of your vehicle? How many people could have been hurt because of your stupidity? I followed you for a while then backed off – but not before taking your picture.”
May 18, 2007

Thumbs down to “all you careless people who are somehow oblivious to the hot, dry, windy weather conditions. It is hard enough dealing with Mother Nature but yet as mighty as she is our own stupidity is still our biggest enemy. Use your head, and your ash trays!”
May 12, 2007

THUMBS Down to newlyweds who send mass produced photos with “thanks for sharing our special day” printed underneath. What about the handwritten thank-you note for the gift?”
May 12, 2007

Thumbs down to “the man who was wearing the strong cologne at Silver City at Saturday‘s 3:30 showing of Spider-Man 3! I had a headache through the entire movie and this man wasn‘t even sitting near me. I‘m sure everyone in the theatre could smell his presence! Have some respect for those with chemical allergies.” The same thing happened to a woman attending the B.B. King concert at the Community Auditorium Monday night. It was so bad she had to leave.
May 12, 2007

Thumbs Down to the south-side drive-thru employee “who got my order wrong and thought that they could adjust the cream/sugar levels by sticking their finger in the coffee and tasting it. Did they not realize that I can see them through the drive-thru window?”
May 5, 2007

I say, stand up straight boy, you're slouching

So I recently got back into writing and the character I'm writing for (he's an arrogant superhero chocolate chip cookie - what?) seems to be inadvertedly getting his mannerisms and speech from Lord Flashheart and Foghorn Leghorn. Their influence had slipped into my subconscious without me knowing it.

But he is missing the odd "I say" and "WOOF!"

Looks like an apple?

Tastes like a grape???

This one earned a double-take worthy of Val Kilmer's Ten Commandments the Musical!

What Makes a Good Catholic?

A good Catholic traditionally is someone who kept their mouth shut, their pocketbook open. Paid, prayed and obeyed, was docile, went to Mass, obeyed all the Commandments, went to confession on a regular basis. For the most part was ritualized, obedient and quiet.

But a good Catholic is not that at all. A good Catholic is a Catholic in the model of Jesus Christ: a revolutionary. Someone who's not afraid to get up and speak the truth. Remember, the only time Christ got angry was when he went to church.

-- Father Thomas Doyle ("Deliver Us From Evil")

Exchange with the Room Mate: Jonathan(s)

"Where are you going tonight?"
"Swedish dance party. But I'm meeting up with Jonathan first."
"Jonathan Jonathan? Or Jonathan gay Jonathan?"
"Swedish. Dance. Party."
"Hehe... right."

Bryan Orville - A Sonnet

An evening of laughs and lists and lounging
Topped with a lovely piece of pecan pie.
Then Bryan Orville came a-scrounging.
I believe I was about to die.
‘Tween struggled breaths and painful sides,
My olfactory epithelium
Tears had welled up in my eyes.
I could barely stand to see’m.
The air about Bryan did not diffuse,
In fact it grew stronger and meaner.
I would brand this as physical abuse,
But murder would be much cleaner.
Bryan Orville, you smell. Please go take a bath;
Lest you wish to feel my wrath.

RofD: Shocked and Bewildered

This time, the “R” stands for “Rant”

From time to time, I like to frequent the Chronicle Journal web site to see what shenanigans and going-ons my hometown is experiencing. I pass along to my Toronto friends the wacky stories about the residence's encounters with bears and bulls or I post various samplings of the Thumbs Up Thumbs Down section that often cause head-shakes and chuckles.

Then there was this story:

Dog saved after being stabbed
Andrew Rogala was busy barbecuing in his backyard Thursday evening when he heard the disturbing sounds. He and Bev Rogala, his wife, were celebrating her birthday by cooking shish kebabs and enjoying some cold drinks on their deck at 217 Stephens St., when he heard the next-door neighbour's dog cry out.
“I knew something was wrong when I heard this yelping,” Rogala said Friday.
He ran to his neighbour's backyard, where a corrugated
fibreglass shed was located. He poked his head in a small opening and saw blood on the floor and his neighbour holding the dog over a bucket.The man had one arm under the dog's chest and another around its neck, Rogala said.
“I said, 'What the (expletive) are you doing,'” Rogala recalled. “He said, 'It's OK, it's OK. I don't want the dog anymore.'”
More…

I was horrified to read this but more so that I, in fact, knew the guy in question. His last name escapes me but his first name is Mel. He was born in the Philippines, moved here to live with his mother circa 1996, give or take. He was always polite, quiet and overall a genuinely nice guy. Though his and my family were not best friends, our parents were in the same social circle.

An argument or rather discussion I had with my friend Mel (different Mel) was that he is not crazy. Before she began, she stated clearly for the record that she does not condone what happened or that it justifies it in any way. Her argument was maybe he simply didn't know any better (again, not justifying what happened). For those who are not aware, dogs in the Philippines are not the same here. They are not members of the family. They are simply meat.

Before I can even fathom what happened to this guy, the problem I have is that I simply cannot wrap my head around such an inhumane act. Well, perhaps that's not a problem but merely a good thing. Is it because I was born here that I simply think that is insane? The guy is fucking crazy. There has to be a chemical imbalance for him to logically work it out in his head that because he does not want the dog anymore, stabbing it repeatedly makes perfect sense, like it's the only way to handle said situation. And quite frankly, if that was indeed the case, he's lived here Canada for over 11 years! Am I insensitive in thinking you wouldn't pick up on the fact that spilling a dog's blood into a bucket in your shed is frowned upon here?

"LOL"

I hate... repeat, HATE animated "LOL"s in MSN conversations.

Though the above causes epileptic seizures, the one that truly makes me want to punch enfants is the red lol that turns into a laughing face (couldn't find it and yes, it killed me that I was putting effort into googling it).

And while on the subject of "lol", I'm none too pleased when people type the following when laughing via MSN:
"lolololololol"

You might want to look into what you just typed.

Lame!

Things I've Noticed

Things I've Noticed the first:
I've stopped uploading photos of people to my flickr account and have just been added pictures of things I've baked and decorated. What does this say about me as a person?

Things I've Noticed the second:
A common phrase (or variation of said phrase) I hear from our CHUM broadcast counterparts is this:
"You must hate me but..."

Things I've Noticed the third:
I've been using my gmail account more and my hotmail less. Reason being because of Facebook.

Things I've Noticed the fourth:
I am incredibly stubborn about the following:

• Once I've switched from winter coat to non-winter coat, I will not go back no matter what.
• When people come over for dinner, everyone must be served with same plates, cutlery and glasses. It's unfortunate when I have more than 4 people over at a time in which I am very tempted to serve food on matching paper plates.

Things I've Noticed the fifth:
I naturally wake up in and around 7am everyday to go to the washroom.