Title vs. Title

I don’t understand why franchise movies must put some stank in their titles and thus making them very cartoony. I find it hard to take them seriously that way, much like adding “The Wacky Adventures of…” to any given title. This blog is inspired by the announcement of the new X-Files movie…

Here are some examples:
X-Files: I Want to Believe
Though this is really to get the common household X-Phile juiced in the pants, I don’t know if I’m warm to it. It does seem more personal and perhaps that’s what they were going for. I’d be content if it was called X-Files: Believe… Hell, I’d be ecstatic if all movies were titled Piper Maru.

X-Files: Fight the Future
Lame. This movie came out when X-Files the series was at its peak. I guess Fight the Future was referring to its slow downward spiral.

Star Wars: The Phantom Menace
Grr!

Star Wars: Attack of the Clones
Makes it sound like the most expensive B-movie ever.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Okay, I get the campiness of it though I never associated Indy as being super campy. I don’t know, could be my childhood talking. But, I will say Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, both as a film and film title, is a tough act to follow.

James Bond titles
Quantum of Solace
Die Another Day
The World is Not Enough
(yes, I’m aware the James Bond titles are based on books – calm down)

I also don’t care for these:
LXG
T2
X2

Honourable Mention: Don’t Play with the Math
Alien³ = only one (1) alien

Honourable Mention: Don’t Play with the Chemistry
H2O – What seems to be cunning wit is actually just stupid. What it’s trying to tell you: 20 years after the original Halloween. What it was marketed to tell you: WATER. Scared yet?

No doubt I’m missing a bunch… not really taking too much time researching these. If you think of any stupid titles, let me know!

Oh Gaius...