2005: We hardly knew you
This past year brought the best and worst out of Hollywood – from heroine chic being the new ‘in’ look to babies being the latest accessories. And we can’t forget the “are they/aren’t they?” or the “do you like me like me?” discussions no doubt you’ve shared around the office by the water fountain – oh was it just me then?
So to kick off the New Year, we take a look back at 2005 and all its glory. Afterall, you don’t know where you’re going unless you know where you’ve been.
Hook ups that shook up
Honestly, some relationships end before we even knew they started. And apparently country singers seem to know how to push some of Hollywood’s starlets’ buttons (I’m looking at you, Nicole Kidman and Renee Zellweger). But no one takes the cake more than that couple we’ve grown to loathe.
So the recipients of the “We So Crazy” award goes to Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. With a 16 years difference, they’ve managed to create quite the media stir with their public displays of affection, his talk show couch orgasms, their sudden engagement after 2 months of courtship followed by a pregnancy announcement and her conversion to Scientology that had her Catholic parents in a rage. I’d wish them the best if he wasn’t Mr. Crazy Crazerson and she wasn’t Katie Holmes.
Break ups that shake up
The year began with the break up of Hollwood’s cutest and “oh, I hope they pull though” couple – Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston. There was even hope of a rekindling of their romance but that fell through with the buzz of an affair with the sultry Angelina Jolie (Brad had the affair… not Jen). And MTV’s Newly Weds Nick and Jessica finally split after almost a year’s worth of speculating. Others to split were Renee Zellweger from country singer Kenny Chesney after 4 months of wedded bliss citing the reason as “Fraud”, Paris Hilton’s engagement to Greek shipping heir Paris Latsis ended (ya, we’re all broken up about that), as well as her Simple Life co-star Nicole Ritchie from her DJ fiance.
But the winner for the “…And Nanny Makes Three” award is none other than Jude Law and Sienna Miller. His affair with his children’s nanny, Daisy Wright went public when the nanny released her detailed and a bit graphic sexual account with the Alfie star. Law’s open apology met a dead end with Miller but the rumour mill kept on spinning about a possible reunion between the two until Law later discovered she had an affair with his friend and fellow actor, Daniel Craig, before he had his with the nanny. Oh snap!
Say ‘I do’ then make me a sandwich
Some engagements actually did follow through like Donald Trump to Slovenia model Melania Knauss and Christina Aguilera to record producer Jordan Bratman. Hopefully married life will clean up her dirrty reputation. And nothing says “I do” more than being knocked up by Daredevil. Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck secret wedding took place shortly after speculation of her being pregnant arose. Wedding dress purchased from a maternity store confirmed the rumours.
However the “Don’t Call Me Mother Unless I Tell You To” award goes to Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher who despite their 15-year age difference seem to be stronger than most couples out there. But that also means he was 12-years-old when Ghost came out. He must really hate Patrick Swayze… oh, that had nothing to do with the movie Ghost.
Baby booms and bangs
What better way to make a statement without saying a word than by having your very own baby! Pop singer Britney decided shortly after marrying Kevin Federline that she wanted to start a family. Her first step was marrying a freeloading bum then being impregnated by it. Affleck and Garner also had a baby girl this year, a first for both of them. And of course Katie Holmes is expecting a child and has agreed to a silent birth as Scientology practice dictates (I’m tempted to give this child a “I’m Screwed From The Start” award).
But alas, the “I’m The Greatest Human Being Ever – Oh, And I’m Hot” award goes to Angelina Jolie who adopted Zahara, an orphan from Africa whose mother passed away from AIDS. This is the second child Jolie has adopted from a third world country (the first being Maddox, whom she adopted while married to Billy Bob Thornton). I want to hate this woman but can’t. She’s a UN ambassador who rescues orphaned children. She has lips, breasts and an ass that would make anybody give up everything just to walk within her vicinity (Brad Pitt, I’m looking in your general direction).
The Rumour Mill spins
Everybody loves a little gossip. It’s even better when it’s not about you. Some one who took a lot of hits this year was Lindsay Lohan with her reported make-up session with Bruce Willis, plus reports of her father and his threats to his family. She was also in the middle of alleged eating disorder claims. She wasn’t the only one people suspected of anorexia – Nicole Ritchie, Keira Knightly, Mischa Barton and Mary-Kate Olsen who went into rehab for her anorexia. Other gossip that stirred up the year was who’s dating who – so high school. Jessica Simpson and her closeness to Dukes of Hazzard co-star Johnny Knoxville may have led to the inevitable spit between her and her husband, Nick Lachey. Sienna Miller’s alleged tryst with Daniel Craig also put the final stamp on her relationship with Jude Law.
The “Who Are We Kidding?” award is a tie between Brangelina and Brad’s former better half Jennifer Aniston and her The Break Up co-star Vince Vaughn. Brad Pitt and Angelina’s charity visits to foreign countries, them purchasing homes near each other for those convenient booty calls and the photos taken of them on a beach with her children all family-like all point to them being the new “It” couple. Though both deny the relationship being anything more than just friends, these actions scream “Oh Come On!” of epic proportions. And like ex-husband, like ex-wife, Aniston’s “friendship” to bachelor Vince Vaughn seems to be a bit more as photos of the pair kissing and canoodling were released. Fess up kids, it’s lust.
Wacky Stunts
We will never forget Mariah Carey and her posing with a cripple homeless man, or her own minor wardrobe malfunction on stage, or that time she had a six-pack drawn on her abs (maybe she should’ve gotten the “Who Are We Kidding?” award). Not to mention Russell Crowe’s temper tantrum when he threw a telephone at a hotel concierge for not connecting his call. How about Tara Reid’s, Paris Hilton’s and Jessica Simpson’s Girls Gone Drunk photos at various clubs in Hollywood? And of course The King of Wacky – Wacko Jacko. Michael Jackson’s child molestation trial turned circus with celeb appearances and him showing up late in pajamas.
But the final award of “You Had Me at Crazy” goes to Mr. Tom Cruise. In an interview with Matt Lauer, Cruise states no body knows about psychology like he does sparking a feud with actress Brooke Shield over the use of the anti-depressant drug Paxil. His public raves over his love for Katie Holmes (whom he has convinced, should be called Kate from now on) has everyone thinking “enough already”. The public affection and the cold sores on her face clearly say ‘love’. He has gone on record saying she is the most wonderful woman he’s ever met. I mean, even calling Kate Holmes a ‘woman’ is enough to have anybody locked up. Did I mention he loves her?
And finally In memory of…
Seems too many to name, but here is a short list of celebs that passed this year but changed the face of entertainment. They will be missed.
Johnny Carson, 79
Ann Bancroft, 73
Bob Denver, 70
Richard Pryor, 65
Luther Vandross, 54
Ossie Davis, 87
Don Adams, 82
Pat Morita, 73
Peter Jennings, 67
James Doohan, 85
Nipsey Russell, 81
Robert Wise, 91
----------------------------------------------------
Btw, here is a drastically altered version of my article. It catches a few things I missed
http://www.star-tv.com/starnews/index.asp?story_id=16906
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